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    October 30

    蓝调人生

          宣泄,这似乎已经不是我能做得了的事情,也才发现自己已经封闭许久。
          前几天才发现我自己吃错药,很危险。担心自己也责怪自己。为什么我一直是没脑子过日子的家伙。似乎永远活在空中。08年也近尾声,才发现才做好一件事情,其他都很失败。不断学习的我却忘记学阿谀奉承,不断踏实的我也开始白日做梦。一切都不现实不像自己,好几年不见的人说我变了,更文静。苦笑~~是我真得累还是我已经不知道什么是笑。文笔没长进,能力没提升,唯一长了几条皱纹来进一步消磨自己。日子每天过的就像个机器人。
          最近听起蓝调音乐,那种懒懒得随意得感觉就像现在的我,只为了过完每一天。曾经我是多么激情的一个女孩子,但是回到曾经的得笑已经是不可能了,唯一的解释是我长大了。
          有人问我怎样才开心呢?回想许久后说:我要开心干什么
        

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